.

It was a summer night.

Those summer nights that smell good.

The temperature was nice.

The wind was blowing softly.

The yellow fields were suddenly black.

Because of the night, you know.

The stars sparkling in the sky.

The road wasn't too long.

I think they were singing songs.

They were all drinking.

The laughter mixed with the air.

But I wasn't laughing.

I didn't feel like laughing.

I felt a little ache, in the middle of the stomach.

Or maybe it was the chest.

I can't remember.

It wasn't physical pain.

It was emotional pain.

I felt like crying.

But I didn't cry.

I had to be strong.

At least that night, I had to control myself.

In order not to show, the weakness within.

In order not to demonstrate, he was right.

I wasn't what he was thinking.

Or maybe I was.

Who knows.

But it hurt.

And I didn't like the way it hurt.

And my reaction was so childish.

But I didn't care.

I had to run away.

I had to breathe.

I had to pull myself together.

I didn't succeed.

I cared too much.

It was too important for me.

It was too meaningful.

And I screwed it up I guess.

Like always.

Never mind.

Those fields are going to grow.

The yellow will bright more than ever.

The stars will spark stronger.

And the wind will blow softer.

And I won't be this mess.

And I won't be this chaotic.

I will still be a child though.

But I hope that won't be a problem.