Everytime I dream with her, is a nightmare. Everytime I dream with him, is a nigthmare. My dreams are just nightmares, all the time, every time. 

Tonight, at 5 o clock in the morning, sweating, awake in my bed, thinking how badly and how intensely he  hurt me, if still, after all this time apart, I still have fucking nightmares with him. And they're so intense, so vivid, that my heart starts pounding, and I suddenly wake up, 'cause it's too hard facing it. Too hard, still too hard.

And I still ask myself why.

And I still stand still, knowing I'm never gonna know the answer, never gonna know it.